Wizard — Somebody who has learnt Photoshop extensively, though perhaps not creatively. Often these people are locked into a single style. They believe they are often douchebags.
CAD Monkey — Somebody who has learnt CAD software extensively, though perhaps not creatively. Often these people are locked into a single style. These people carry smell.
Web Designer — An inventor of lies, imaginary words, and false deadlines. The modern day snake oil salesman.
Programmer — Like a web designer, but instead of having no talents, self respect, or hygiene they have some.
Suit — A business man, often seen as an enemy to artistic practice.
Contemporary — Indie, Hipster, Trendy.
Legible — Defined on how clear text is letter by letter. For example a sans serif will have clearer distinction between characters than a serif. Useful for Logos.
Readable — Defined by how clear text is when reading passages. For example using a serif will make reading a body of text easier than using a sans serif. Useful in novels.
Helvetica — What non-designers use to look like designers.
Font — The term used traditionally was also size specific, but now refers to a weight, such as Helvetica Bold.
Typeface — The collection of fonts, such as Helvetica.
Calligraphy — Work using traditional letter forms, tools, and methods to create one off writing.
Lettering — The creation of words as illustrative form.
Typographer — A term used by students who have just learned how to make letters in Illustrator.
Typographer — A person who sets out type as part of layout design.
Typographer — An extreme nerd who creates fonts. Due to their limited number, they are also often the people design the software to create fonts.
Creative Director — Non-specific overseer.
Art Director — Specific overseer.
Interesting — Confused.
Interesting — Awful.
Interesting — I am already thinking of something else. (It should be noted that interesting never means interesting.)
All-Nighter — A sacred event that occurs the night before any deadline as a form of contemporary sacrifice to the design gods.
Design Celebrity — A person who has gained notoriety within the design community. It is often forgotten however that most people do not recognise these people as celebrities.
Pricing — A number which magically apparates between Free and $211,000,000 (the cost of the BP logo). In the future it is predicted people will pay to design.
User Centred Design — Hokum.